I run just for the fun of running, to escape. I need to feel alive. “I’m alive “* I run till I lose my breath. My lungs filled with air. I run so fast that I see the trees around me parading at breakneck speed. I cannot recognize my cardinal points. Where is my North, my West, my East or my South? I run and I feel things come alive around me. As if I had the power to bring objects to life. I give them all my vitality. I lose my oxygen. I run. Oh! For a moment, I feel I flew into a better world. “I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky.” I’m running so fast that my pupils do not distinguish anything anymore. “I’m stuck in my world”. Oh! Damn! I ran too fast. I should watch where I put my little legs. Here I lie in the middle of the road. People swivel their heads to look at me. Their faces are blurry and their voices are fading away. It’s wonderful! I see a beautiful white light. I sense my mind entering the source. What awaits me on the other side? Damn! I need more air. Please more oxygen! My pupils perceive it first. It is there. She reaches for my hand. I want to cry with joy. I look up and move in her direction. My brain no longer directs my steps. That’s it, I ‘m sure. She always had that power over me. Wait! Where is my North? Am I headed towards West, East or South? Am I really where I think I am? I see her lips whisper, “We are born to die”. This is where my body doesn’t belong to me anymore. This is where my oxygen is no longer mine.
However, I am free. I would be as free as the wind that caressed my face when I run. I would be a new entity. I do not know why it happened to me, but I guess this is my destiny. People often say that our destiny is planned for us before our birth by Him. You know who I am referring to. I’m afraid to leave, because I do not want to miss out on things. There was so much to do. I know she’ll be by my side. I spent my life running, running and running. I am running faster every time. My mother always told me she thought we were cross between a human being and a gazelle. No, she thought it was a new kind of centaur. I cannot help it. The race has always been the only thing in my life that made sense, especially after the death of my dear sister. I was missing a part of me that I could not explain. Nobody knows what it’s like to lose their other half. Instead of drowning my pain in alcohol or drugs as many others would have done, I decided to run every day of my life. My sister and I did it constantly. We were the stars of our team at our school. We were unbeatable. When she left for a better world, I knew I had to follow her soon enough. I wanted to be close to her again. I had to run beside her again. I missed her so much. Now she is in front of me. She smiles at me and I feel that everything will be fine. I take her hand and hold it very tight, because I can’t run without her in the afterlife.
* Refers to song titles
IMAGE CREDIT: Amanda Claire Murphy